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第16部分（第1页）

After　Dan　had　kicked　her　out　of　the　Humphreys’　last　year；　Vanessa　had　felt　lost　and　heartbroken。　Not　to　mention　very；　very　guilty。　Everything　with　Hollis　had　happened　so　quickly；　she　didn’t　really　have　time　to　think　about　it；　they　had　kissed　once；　and　then　they　had　kissed　again；　and　then　suddenly　there　was　Dan；　watching　it　all　happen。　After　he　told　Vanessa　that　he　never　wanted　to　see　her　again；　a　tiny　part　of　her　had　died。　But　there　was　nothing　she　could　do　to　change　what　had　happened。　She　had　to　look　forward；　not　back。　With　nowhere　else　to　turn；　she’d　called　Hollis。　They’d　slowly　gotten　to　know　each　other　over　long　nights　of　falafel；　cheap　red　wine；　and　Vanessa　with　no　place　to　crash　except　Hollis’s　bed。

For　the　last　year；　she’d　spent　most　nights　at　Hollis’s　Alphabet　City　apartment。　But　technically　she　resided　in　a　curtained…off　corner　of　the　living　room　of　a　Bushwick　apartment　with　Mackenzie　and　Rhiannon；　two　girls　from　NYU。　It　was　a　far　cry　from　what　she　now　called　home：　an　eighteen…hundred…square…foot　glass　and　exposed…brick　apartment　with　its　own　elevator；　black…stained　wood　floors；　and　a　winding　staircase　that　connected　a　sleeping　loft　to　the　sprawling　main　living　area。　It　was　incredible。　She　and　Hollis　had　been　planning　to　move　in　together　after　her　lease　was　up　on　December　31；　but　she　hadn’t　expected　an　apartment　so…

“It’s　so　big　here；”　Vanessa　said；　her　voice　echoing　off　the　still…bare　walls。　Hollis　had　hired　a　decorator　to　furnish　the　apartment　with　the　basics；　but　neither　of　them　had　put　up　any　artwork　yet。　She　couldn’t　wait　to　find　cool　prints　and　stills　together　to　put　on　the　walls；　and　really　make　it　their　own。　For　now；　she　just　wanted　to　run　around　the　loft　in　her　socks。　Because　she　could。

That’s　one　way　to　dial　down　the　maturity　level。

It　was　all　like　a　fairy　tale；　with　Hollis　as　her　indie　prince。　He　hadn’t　even　told　her　how　expensive　it　was；　assuring　Vanessa　that　her　tiny　contribution　to　the　rent　from　her　student　job　working　in　the　digital　film　archives　at　school　would　more　than　cover　her　share。

At　first；　Vanessa　had　protested。　It　felt　so　terribly　cliché。　She　was　practically　a　kept　woman！　Although　it　wasn’t　her　fault　Hollis’s　film　Between　the　B　and　the　A；　a　ing…of…age　story　about　a　twenty…one…year…old’s　spiritual　journey；　had　been　the　darling　at　Sundance　and　a　surprise　indie　hit　the　summer　before。　It　was　pretty　obvious　he　wasn’t　exactly　living　off　a　TA　salary　anymore。　And　Hollis　had　countered　Vanessa’s　protests　by　explaining　that　his　success　was　her　success　and　vice　versa。　They　were　a　team。　Even　though　it　was　sort　of　corny；　she　couldn’t　help　but　swoon　a　little。

She　wandered　over　to　the　large　arching　windows；　where　she　could　just　make　out　the　East　River　rushing　by　in　the　distance。　She　could　hear　Williamsburg　denizens　on　the　sidewalk　below；　just　getting　started　on　their　New　Year’s　Eve　festivities。　Vanessa　was　happy　she　and　Hollis　weren’t　going　out。

There　are　plenty　of　ways　to　have　fun　staying　in。

Hollis　hoisted　himself　up　from　the　couch　and　wrapped　his　strong；　lean　arms　around　her。　Vanessa　smiled　and　leaned　back　into　him；　feeling　safe　and　protected。　Before　Hollis；　she’d　always　been　a　teenager　dating　other　teenagers。　Even　when　she　and　Dan　were　serious；　it　had　always　felt　to　her　like　they　were　still　so　young；　still　so　unformed。　But　now；　Vanessa　felt　like　an　adult。　And　she　was　surprised　by　how　much　she　liked　that　feeling。

“What　are　you　thinking？”　Hollis　murmured　in　her　ear。

“That　I’m　happy。”　Vanessa　tilted　her　chin　up　to　kiss　him；　enjoying　the　way　his　slight　stubble　scratched　her　chin。

“I’m　happy　too；”　Hollis　said；　pulling　her　in　closer。

“And　I’m　hungry。”　Vanessa　pulled　away；　breaking　the　mood。　She　was　in　love；　but　Vanessa　Abrams　was　never　going　to　be　sappy　about　it。

And　we　love　her　for　it。

Vanessa　skidded　on　her　socked　feet　toward　the　kitchen　and　pulled　open　the　Sub…Zero　refrigerator；　which　was　stocked　with　osetra　caviar；　Cristal　champagne；　and　other　presents　from　talent　agents；　producers；　and　A…list　directors。

“Champagne？”　Vanessa　handed　one　of　the　bottles　to　Hollis。　“And　then　can　we　order　from　Sea？　I’m　in　the　mood　for　Thai。”　She　watched　him　expertly　open　the　bottle　and　suddenly　laughed。　“You　know；　the　first　time　I　had　champagne　was　for　my　eighteenth　birthday。　The　Raves　played。”　That　was　when　Ruby　was　touring　Prague　with　her　band；　SugarDaddy；　and　Blair　Waldorf　had　moved　in　as　a　temporary　roommate。　Things　were　so　different　now。　Ruby　was　married　and　five　months　pregnant。　But　back　then；　they　all　seemed　so　young。

A　smile　crossed　Vanessa’s　face　at　the　memory　of　Blair　living　in　the　tiny；　ramshackle　one…bedroom　apartment。　She’d　tried　to　class　it　up　by　having　her　mom’s　interior　decorator　redo　the　living　room　in　shades　of　lilac　and　celery；　but　eventually；　Blair　had　realized　that　she’d　never　be　a　Brooklynite。　They’d　had　fun；　though；　and　Vanessa　would　always　remember　that　time　fondly。

Hollis　opened　the　glass…fronted　cabinets　and　poured　two　glasses　of　champagne。　“To　us。”

“To　us；”　Vanessa　repeated　absently。　Her　mind　was　far　away；　trying　to　piece　together　the　events　of　her　eighteenth　birthday　party。　The　night　had　begun　as　just　a　few　friends　ing　over；　but　had　morphed　into　an　all…night　rager；　the　one　and　only　she’d　ever　thrown。　She　plunked　down　on　one　of　the　metal　stools　surrounding　the　granite　kitchen　island　and　furrowed　her　brow。　“The　Raves　were　obsessed　with　Serena　van　der　Woodsen。　And　Dan　was　writing　their　lyrics　and　serving　as　front　man。　Or　he　was；　until　he　threw　up　all　over　himself　onstage。”　Vanessa　giggled　at　the　memory。　It　had　gone　down　in　history　as　an　anecdote　she　or　Jenny　would　always　bring　up　to　annoy　Dan。

“Wait；　the　Raves　were　at　your　party　to　hook　up　with　that　actress　from　Coffee　at　the　Palace？”　Hollis　asked；　ignoring　Vanessa’s　reference　to　her　ex。

Hollis　sat　down　across　from　her　at　the　counter　and　ran　a　hand　through　his　jet…black　hair。　His　gray　eyes　were　smiling。　“You；　Ms。　Abrams；　are　full　of　surprises。　You　told　me　you　were　the　girl　with　a　shaved　head　and　no　friends　in　high　school。　Now；　I　hear　you　were　partying　with　Serena　van　der　Woodsen；　getting　the　Raves　to　perform　at　your　birthday…　and　you　say　I’m　the　one　who　sold　out　by　working　with　a　distribution　pany？”　He　laughed。

“No。”　Vanessa　shook　her　head　and　polished　off　the　rest　of　her　champagne。　The　tiny　bubbles　tickled　her　throat。　Saying　it　out　loud　made　everything　sound　so　fun　and　carefree；　but　it　had　never　really　been　like　that。　She’d　been　pletely　out　of　place　at　school；　all　the　prim　and　proper　Constance　Billard　girls　had　made　fun　of　her　Doc　Martens　and　shaved　head。　Now；　her　straight；　shiny　black　hair　fell　in　a　curtain　to　her　shoulders；　she　occasionally　wore　black　mascara　and　a　smudge　of　lip　gloss；　and　she　had　a　wardrobe　of　skinny　jeans；　form…fitting　sweaters；　and　colorful　tops　to　offset　her　black　skirts；　pants；　and　hoodies。　She　would’ve　had　a　much　easier　time　of　it　at　Constance　if　she　looked　then　the　way　she　did　now。　But　even　if　she　could　go　back　in　time　and　change　things；　she　wouldn’t。　Her　experience　as　an　outsider　had　made　her　who　she　was。　It　had　given　her　the　sharp　point　of　view　that　led　her　to　bee　a　filmmaker。

“Most　of　the　time；　it　was　really　hard。　I　mean；　I　was　fifteen　when　I　moved　here　to　live　with　my　sister。　Ruby　was　out　a　lot　with　the　band；　but　she　had　a　bird　named　Tofu　and　seriously；　sometimes　he　was　the　only　living　thing　I　spoke　to　all　day。”　She　sighed。　“One　time　we　had　this　weird　roommate；　Tiphany；　who　moved　in　with　a　ferret　named　Tooter…　and　then　there　was　the　time　that　I　got　kicked　out　by　Piotr；　my　sister’s　husband；”　Vanessa　babbled。　Once　she　started　talking　about　some　of　the　crazier　things　that　happened　during　her　high　school　career；　it　was　hard　to　stop；　especially　since　Hollis　was　staring　at　her　with　such　intensity。

“Wait。”　He　grabbed　her　hand　and　stared　deep　in　her　eyes。　“How　e　I’ve　never　heard　any　of　these　stories？”

Vanessa　shrugged。　“It’s　not　that　interesting。”　She’d　never　really　talked　about　her　past　before。　Not　because　she　thought　Hollis　wouldn’t　care；　but　because　so　much　of　her　past　involved　Dan。　It　was　kind　of　awkward。

You　think？

“No；　it’s　great。　Girl　moves　to　Brooklyn　and　everything　goes　so　wrong；　it’s　right。　The　ferret’s　name　was　Tooter？　You　can’t　make　that　shit　up；”　Hollis　laughed。　“It’d　be　a　great　movie。　It’s　gritty　and　raw　and　funny　as　hell。　It　makes　me　want　to　know　more。　I　want　to　see　it！　I　want　to　see　it　all！”　Hollis　began　pacing　back　and　forth　in　the　kitchen；　the　way　he　always　did　when　he　was　trying　to　work　out　the　logistics　of　an　idea。

“Are　you　going　to　make　a　movie　about　my　life？”　Vanessa　teased；　refilling　both　of　their　champagne　glasses。

“No。”　Hollis　took　the　glass　and　cocked　it　toward　Vanessa。　“We　are。”

Vanessa　shook　her　head。　Her　life　wasn’t　a　movie！　It　was　just…　her　life。　Tragic　and　absurd；　she　thought　randomly。　Dan　had　probably　said　that。　But　maybe　that　was　the　point。　Her　life…—her　high　school　life；　anyway…—had　been　tragic　and　absurd；　but　she’d　gotten　past　it　and　was　now　happy　and　in　love。　She　thought　of　her　high　school　self。　Shaven…headed；　self…righteous　Vanessa　would　have　scoffed　at　a　film　about　a　na？ve　Vermont　girl　who　learns　to　tell　people　to　go　fuck　themselves。　No。　Actually　she　would　have　loved　it。

“Let’s　do　it。”　Vanessa　drained　her　champagne　glass；　slipped　off　her　stool；　and　hugged　Hollis　hard。

“We　can　start　tonight；”　Hollis　murmured　into　her　now…shoulder…length　black　hair。

Vanessa　grinned　and　kissed　him　softly　on　the　lips。　“I　have　another　idea　for　tonight；”　she　said　boldly；　looking　him　straight　in　the　eye。

This　particular　film　will　go　unrated。

everyone　loves　a　reunion

“Serena　van　der　Woodsen’s　here；”　Laura　Salmon　whispered　to　Rain　Hoffstetter。　Isabel　Coates　nodded。　They　were　perched　on　one　of　the　low…slung　black　leather　couches　in　the　Bass　suite　at　the　Tribeca　Star。　The　expansive　space　was　decked　with　plain　white　Christmas　lights；　and　large　plate　glass　windows　led　to　the　terrace　overlooking　the　shining　lights　of　the　city　below。　Laura　had　gained　ten　pounds　for　each　semester　at　Wellesley　and　was　now　squeezed　into　a　stretchy　black　Narciso　Rodriguez　dress。　She　looked　exactly　like　her　mother。

“I　heard　she　got　married　to　Breckin　O’Dell。　It’s　still　super　secret；　though；”　Rain　whispered　back；　taking　a　long　swig　of　her　vodka　tonic。　Her　hair　was　pulled　into　a　messy　chignon；　revealing　a　slightly　off…center　infinity　symbol　tattooed　on　the　back　of　her　neck。　It　looked　like　she’d　drawn　it　on　herself　with　an　eyeliner　pencil。

“I　heard　she’s　pregnant。　She’s　due　in　June。　Her　agent　wanted　her　to　have　an　abortion；”　Isabel　Coates　chimed　in；　straightening　the　hem　of　her　black　satin　Marc　by　Marc　Jacobs　dress。

“Guys！”　Serena　called；　pleased　to　recognize　some　of　her　old　classmates　huddled　on　the　black　low…slung　couch　in　the　corner。　She’d　been　close　to　staying　in　tonight；　tempted　by　the　idea　of　ordering　an　extra…large　pepperoni　pizza　and　watching　movies　in　her　one…bedroom　apartment　on　Perry　Street。　But　she’d　surprised　herself　by　ing　to　Chuck’s　party　at　the　last　minute。

It　was　already　after　eleven；　and　the　suite　was　filled　with　guys　in　khakis　and　wrinkled　button…downs　and　girls　in　tight　dresses　or　bikinis。　Everyone　looked　li

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