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第40部分（第3页）

〃Sure。〃

〃Youre　so　lovely。〃　She　was　a　little　drunk　from　the　gas。

〃I　will　eat　from　a　tray　in　the　next　room；〃　the　doctor　said。　〃You　can　call　me　any　moment。〃　While　the　time　passed　I　watched　him　eat；　then；　after　a　while；　I　saw　that　he　was　lying　down　and　smoking　a　cigarette。　Catherine　was　getting　very　tired。

〃Do　you　think　Ill　ever　have　this　baby？〃　she　asked。

〃Yes；　of　course　you　will。〃

〃I　try　as　hard　as　I　can。　I　push　down　but　it　goes　away。　There　it　es。　Give　it　to　me。〃

At　two　oclock　I　went　out　and　had　lunch。　There　were　a　few　men　in　the　caf？sitting　with　coffee　and　glasses　of　kirsch　or　marc　on　the　tables。　I　sat　down　at　a　table。　〃Can　I　eat？〃　I　asked　the　waiter。

〃It　is　past　time　for　lunch。〃

〃Isnt　there　anything　for　all　hours？〃

〃You　can　have　choucroute。〃

〃Give　me　choucroute　and　beer。〃

〃A　demi　or　a　bock？〃

〃A　light　demi。〃

The　waiter　brought　a　dish　of　sauerkraut　with　a　slice　of　ham　over　the　top　and　a　sausage　buried　in　the　hot　wine…soaked　cabbage。　I　ate　it　and　drank　the　beer。　I　was　very　hungry。　I　watched　the　people　at　the　tables　in　the　caf？　At　one　table　they　were　playing　cards。　Two　men　at　the　table　next　me　were　talking　and　smoking。　The　caf？was　full　of　smoke。　The　zinc　bar；　where　I　had　breakfasted；　had　three　people　behind　it　now；　the　old　man；　a　plump　woman　in　a　black　dress　who　sat　behind　a　counter　and　kept　track　of　everything　served　to　the　tables；　and　a　boy　in　an　apron。　I　wondered　how　many　children　the　woman　had　and　what　it　had　been　like。

When　I　was　through　with　the　choucroute　I　went　back　to　the　hospital。　The　street　was　all　clean　now。　There　were　no　refuse　cans　out。　The　day　was　cloudy　but　the　sun　was　trying　to　e　through。

I　rode　upstairs　in　the　elevator；　stepped　out　and　went　down　the　hail　to　Catherines　room；　where　I　had　left　my　white　gown。　I　put　it　on　and　pinned　it　in　back　at　the　neck。　I　looked　in　the　glass　and　saw　myself　looking　like　a　fake　doctor　with　a　beard。　I　went　down　the　hail　to　the　delivery　room。　The　door　was　closed　and　I　knocked。　No　one　answered　so　I　turned　the　handle　and　went　in。　The　doctor　sat　by　Catherine。　The　nurse　was　doing　something　at　the　other　end　of　the　room。

〃Here　is　your　husband；〃　the　doctor　said。

〃Oh；　darling；　I　have　the　most　wonderful　doctor；〃　Catherine　said　in　a　very　strange　voice。　〃Hes　been　telling　me　the　most　wonderful　story　and　when　the　pain　came　too　badly　he　put　me　all　the　way　out。　Hes　wonderful。　Youre　wonderful；　doctor。〃

〃Youre　drunk；〃　I　said。

〃I　know　it；〃　Catherine　said。　〃But　you　shouldnt　say　it。〃　Then　〃Give　it　to　me。　Give　it　to　me。〃　She　clutched　hold　of　the　mask　and　breathed　short　and　deep；　pantingly；　making　the　respirator　click。　Then　she　gave　a　long　sigh　and　the　doctor　reached　with　his　left　hand　and　lifted　away　the　mask。

〃That　was　a　very　big　one；〃　Catherine　said。　Her　voice　was　very　strange。　〃Im　not　going　to　die　now；　darling。　Im　past　where　I　was　going　to　die。　Arent　you　glad？〃

〃Dont　you　get　in　that　place　again。〃

〃I　wont。　Im　not　afraid　of　it　though。　I　wont　die；　darling。〃

〃You　will　not　do　any　such　foolishness；〃　the　doctor　said。　〃You　would　not　die　and　leave　your　husband。〃

〃Oh；　no。　I　wont　die。　I　wouldnt　die。　Its　silly　to　die。　There　it　es。　Give　it　to　me。〃

After　a　while　the　doctor　said；　〃You　will　go　out；　Mr。　Henry；　for　a　few　moments　and　I　will　make　an　examination。〃

〃He　wants　to　see　how　I　am　doing；〃　Catherine　said。　〃You　can　e　back　afterward；　darling；　cant　he；　doctor？〃

〃Yes；〃　said　the　doctor。　〃I　will　send　word　when　he　can　e　back。〃

I　went　out　the　door　and　down　the　hall　to　the　room　where　Catherine　was　to　be　after　the　baby　came。　I　sat　in　a　chair　there　and　looked　at　the　room。　I　had　the　paper　in　my　coat　that　I　had　bought　when　I　went　out　for　lunch　and　I　read　it。　It　was　beginning　to　be　dark　outside　and　I　turned　the　light　on　to　read。　After　a　while　I　stopped　reading　and　turned　off　the　light　and　watched　it　get　dark　outside。　I　wondered　why　the　doctor　did　not　send　for　me。　Maybe　it　was　better　I　was　away。　He　probably　wanted　me　away　for　a　while。　I　looked　at　my　watch。　If　he　did　not　send　for　me　in　ten　minutes　I　would　go　down　anyway。

Poor；　poor　dear　Cat。　And　this　was　the　price　you　paid　for　sleeping　together。　This　was　the　end　of　the　trap。　This　was　what　people　got　for　loving　each　other。　Thank　God　for　gas；　anyway。　What　must　it　have　been　like　before　there　were　anaesthetics？　Once　it　started；　they　were　in　the　mill…race。　Catherine　had　a　good　time　in　the　time　of　pregnancy。　It　wasnt　bad。　She　was　hardly　ever　sick。　She　was　not　awfully　unfortable　until　toward　the　last。　So　now　they　got　her　in　the　end。　You　never　got　away　with　anything。　Get　away　hell！　It　would　have　been　the　same　if　we　had　been　married　fifty　times。　And　what　if　she　should　die？　She　wont　die。　People　dont　die　in　childbirth　nowadays。　That　was　what　all　husbands　thought。　Yes；　but　what　if　she　should　die？　She　wont　die。　Shes　just　having　a　bad　time。　The　initial　labor　is　usually　protracted。　Shes　only　having　a　bad　time。　Afterwa

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